My Biggest Skeptic.

The past weekend has been an eventful one, packed with family activities and horsing around with my toddler niece who’s starting to get a little too active for me.

For a long while now, I have been feeling a little down. Can’t quite pinpoint the exact cause, but I know I am shriveling inside. I know I am blessed in more ways than one, and I am thankful for all the wonderful things that the good Lord has given me – my beloved family, friends whom I can count on, material comforts and most importantly, the knowledge that life itself has a greater purpose and meaning other than the meaningless pursuits of what the earthly life can achieve if at the end of it all, it all boils down to nothing.

Still, despite the head knowledge, my heart has its own struggles. Humans are such complex creatures that it amazes me how our Creator made us. And it irks me how some people can attribute the making of Man to evolution. In my view, that’s just plain bull.

Someone once told me that you can tell your heart how to feel. The mind itself is a battlefield that we tend to overlook and underestimate. Our society keeps telling us to go with your heart, go with what your 'gut feel' tells you. But honestly, and seriously - how long does this 'gut feel' last? For some, it lasts a lifetime (good for them!) but if you are like me, who falls under the huge majority of the commonfolk, it really doesn't last that long. So who can we really trust if we can't even trust ourselves?

We often concur that eyes can be deceiving at times. Well, I reckon our hearts can be deceiving at times too. Am increasingly starting to disbelieve my own thoughts, my own convictions, my own worldview. The blunt truth is - I really am my own biggest skeptic.

The older I get, the more I start to question my own worldview. And the more I distrust myself. My thoughts, my convictions, my feelings, my heart. And it is precisely for this very reason that there is an increasing need for me to run to the One who has stayed constant throughout all ages. I dunno about you, but to me, that brings a hale lotsa comfort!

If He is who He says He is, and it has been proven over centuries that His Word is the undisputable Truth, then it is in Him alone I must place my complete trust and confidence, knowing that if He is my Creator, then He must also be my Saviour, my Guide and the only One who knows me from the inside out.

"Teach me to know You more, that in doing so, I may also come to know myself too."